You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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