Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
