Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
