direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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