Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
