Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
