My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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