I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
