she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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