rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Enjoy the penises
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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