This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
