I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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