the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
