This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
