discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
