go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
