shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
