Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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