She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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