before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
