your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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