Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
