Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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