Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You're a waste of cheezeits
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
