there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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