I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
