Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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