and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
