If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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