just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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