Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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