Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I need to sanitize my soul.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
