I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
