sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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