Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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