Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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