Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
