I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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