Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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