I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
