If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
