and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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