I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
