You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
