So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My ATM looks so different sober.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
