i think i scared a bird with my dick
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
