Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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