i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
