So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
ugly people sure do ruin things
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
