My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
