I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
