I'm drive I can fine osifer
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
